Kidneys au Vin Blanc

Ingredients

• 3 tbsp butter
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1 garlic clove, chopped
• 5 lamb's kidneys, sliced, with the middle parts removed
• 3 tbsp flour
• salt and pepper
• 2 oz. mushrooms, sliced
• 1 tsp fresh chopped herbs (we used parsley and Italian seasoning)
• 2/3 cup white wine
• 2/3 cup chicken stock
• 3 large tomatoes, skinned, quartered, and seeded
• croutons to garnish

To skin the tomatoes, we blanched them in boiling water for about 30 seconds and then dumped them in an ice bath. The skin came off very easily.
I can't really tell you the best way to prepare kidneys. I didn't know there would be weird tubes and shit on the inside, but there were, and there seemed to be no good way to extricate them. I ended up butchering them pretty bad, as it were. But the preparation doesn't really matter, I don't think. As long as you can remove the middle part, you're good to go.
Melt the butter in a saucepan and add the onion and garlic. Cook until the onion is translucent. Add the mangled kidneys and fry until lightly browned. Don't overcook them! They will get rubbery.
Remove the pan from heat and stir in the flour, herbs, stock, wine, mushrooms, salt, and pepper.
Bring to a boil and simmer for 8-10 minutes.
Add the quartered tomatoes and cook for another 2-3 minutes.
Serve garnished with croutons.

Thoughts: Weird. I feel pretty ambivalent about this recipe. I mean, if you like kidneys, this is a great recipe. The flavor was great and the preparation was super easy. If, however, you've never had kidneys before (like me), I don't know if I can recommend this recipe. Kidneys have a very strong flavor and a texture that's sort of similar to mushrooms. The rest of the recipe was really good, but I'll admit that the kidneys squicked me out. If we were to make this recipe again, I think we would lose the tomatoes. They didn't add much. Dan says the recipe was really weird and that he probably wouldn't make it again. He objected to the scent of uric acid that emanated from the kidneys. But, on the other hand, they were very tender. Maybe because they came from lambs and not sheep.

Disaster Index: This is difficult. I would give it a 1-2/10, but we would never make it again. If you like kidneys, I highly recommend this recipe. Otherwise, don't worry about it.

Edit: Three weeks out and I can still remember exactly what these kidneys tasted like. Very MEMORABLE.

Apple Carrot Cake with Molasses Cream Cheese Icing

Ingredients

Cake

• 1 and 3/4 cup old-fashioned oats
• 2 cups boiling water
• 1 cup unsalted butter, slightly softened
• 2 cups dark brown sugar
• 1.5 cups white sugar
• 4 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 1 tbsp rum
• 3 cups flour
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp grated or ground nutmeg
• 2 apples, peeled, cored, and grated
• 4 medium carrots, peeled and grated

Heat the oven to 350.
Combine the oats with the boiling water and set aside until the oats have absorbed the majority of the water.
Beat the butter and sugar together. It will be easiest if you use a kitchenaid for this or something. We did. Cream the butter and sugar together until creamy and smooth. Add the eggs one at a time. Beat until smooth and whipped. Add the vanilla and rum and mix to incorporate. Add in the oatmeal.
Combine all the dry ingredients together and whisk well. Slowly add the dry ingredients into the wet and mix until fully incorporated. Add the grated apple and carrot. Mix well.
Line a smallish spring-form pan with parchment paper (or grease it really well). Put about 1/3 of the mixture in the pan (this batter will make 3 tiers, so you'll have to do this 3 times. Just be prepared). Put in the oven for at least 40 minutes (we had to cook each tier for like, an hour), or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Cool each layer completely before adding the icing in between each layers.

Icing

• 1 cup whole milk
• 2 8-oz packages of cream cheese, very soft
• 1/3 cup molasses
• 1 tsp vanilla
• pinch salt
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg
• at least 2 cups powdered sugar - more if you want the icing to be stiffer.
  

Beat the whole milk for a while, then add the cream cheese bit by bit. This will help it incorporate better into the milk. Don't just dump the whole thing in there. Add the molasses, vanilla, salt, and nutmeg. Beat in the powdered sugar one cup at a time. Set aside and refrigerate for an hour while the cake bakes and cools.

Thoughts: This was hella good. There's just no way around it. The original recipe also called for like, a cup of coconut in the cake, but I suspect that would have made the cake way too sweet. It was pretty damn sweet as it is. It was also VERY moist, which was fantastic. I think next time we would put raisins in the cake as well, just for a little added texture. The carrot and apple was grated pretty finely, so they didn't really add much of a textural element at all. I felt more ambivalent about the frosting because it just tasted SO much like molasses. In the future I think we would either cut WAY back on the molasses or just not put it in at all and make a normal cream cheese frosting. Also we used whole milk instead of whipping cream for the frosting, which probably contributed to its texture (more like a loose icing than a frosting). Next time we would go ahead and use the whipping cream.

Disaster Index: 1-2/10

Twice Baked Potatoes Again?

Ingredients

• 3 yukon gold potatoes, peeled and microwaved for about 8-10 minutes until tender
  
• 1.5 c nonfat plain yogurt, strained*
  
• 1.5 c whole milk
  
• 3 tbsp butter
  
• 2-3 tbsp chives
  

Preheat oven to 375.

While potatoes are cooking, melt the butter with the whole milk in a pot. Mash the potatoes with the butter and milk. Then fold in the yogurt and chives.

Place the potato mixture into four ramekins. Bake until golden brown and a little puffy, about 45 minutes.

*to strain the yogurt, place a colander or strainer over a bowl, and line with a single layer of paper towels. Spoon the yogurt over it, and cover with another paper towel. Leave it for at least a few hours, preferably in the fridge.

Thoughts: This recipe wasn't BAD, but it was really kind of bland. That was sort of the idea, since Claire was super sick, but next time we might add something more to this. Cheese? Garlic? Dill? Something.

Disaster Index: 3/10

Cream of Tomato Soup

Ingredients

• 2 28oz cans GOOD diced tomatoes (Muir Glen?)
  
• 1.75c chicken stock (or veg)
  
• 1.5 tbsp dark brown sugar
  
• 2tbsp butter
  
• 4 large shallots, minced
  
• 1tbsp tomato paste
  
• pinch of allspice
  
• 2tbsp unbleached white flour
  
• 1/2c whole milk
  
• 2tbsp brandy or dry sherry (we used vermouth)
  
• salt
  

Melt the butter in a soup pot, and add the shallots, tomato paste, and allspice. Cook until the shallots are soft and translucent. Add the flour and stir to coat, 30 seconds. Now add the tomatoes and broth and stir well. Cover and bring to a boil over medium heat, then simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Blend the soup until smooth. An immersion blender is best, but if you don't have one then a normal one would work too. We used a normal blender and did two batches. Return blended soup to the stove and add the whole milk. Return to heat and stir well until it's hot enough. Take off the heat and stir in the alcohol. Serve (with grilled cheese sandwiches?)

Thoughts: Really good. In the future we could go smoother, but the blender was a bit of an issue. An immersion blender would be awesome for this, but we didn't have one. Whole milk worked well - the original recipe called for cream. I mean, it was basic tomato soup, but the flavor was just perfect.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Falafel

Ingredients

• 1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
  
• 1/2 onion, chopped
  
• 1tbsp dried parsley]
  
• 1tbsp dried cilantro
  
• 1tsp salt
  
• 1/2tsp cayenne
  
• 4 cloves garlic
  
• 1tsp cumin
  
• 1tsp baking powder
  
• flour
  
• tahini, pita bread, tomato, lettuce for serving
  
• peanut oil for frying
  

Throw everything into a blender and pulse until blended but not pureed. It will be pretty damp. Add flour (about 1/8c at first, then two to three tbsp at a time) and pulse after each addition until you get a dough. Meanwhile, heat about 1 inch of oil to 375 degrees (heat over medium to medium-high heat for a few minutes). Using a melon baller or two spoons, drop one falafel into the oil as a test. You can tell two things from what happens: if the falafel ball falls apart, then you need to add more flour to the dough. If the falafel just sits there and doesn't cook, the oil isn't hot enough.

Once the dough is right and the oil is hot enough, you can cook about six falafel at a time, turning once to cook both sides. It shouldn't really pop everywhere, just kind of simmer against the falafel. When they're done, place them on paper towel lined plate to drain a little of the oil. Serve in pita pockets with lettuce, tahini, and tomato.

Thoughts: This was probably the best falafel recipe we've tried. The texture was just right, and the flavor was really great. This is definitely going to be made again some time.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Split Pea Soup with Ham

Ingredients

• olive oil
• salt
• pepper
  
• 1 cup precooked ham, grilled and chopped.
  
• 1 large leek, rinsed and chopped
  
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 cup green split peas, rinsed
  
• 1 cup frozen peas
• 5 tbsp fresh dill, chopped
• 5 and 3/4 cup chicken broth

Heat oil over medium high heat. Add the chopped ham and grill until it gets a little caramelized. This should take 5-7 minutes. Remove the grilled ham and set aside.
Add a little more olive oil to the pan, if needed, and add leek and bay leaf. Saute until leeks are wilted but still bright green, about 3 minutes. Add the split peas and stir to coat them with the olive oil. Add the chicken broth. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium low, cover, and let simmer for around 35 minutes, or until the peas are tender.
Remove from heat. Using a slotted spoon, remove about 1 cup of the soup solids and put in blender. Add 1/2 cup of the broth. Add 4 tbsp of the dill and the frozen peas. Puree until smooth. Return the puree to the soup and bring to a boil again. Add the ham and mix until it's evenly distributed. Remove from heat and sprinkle with fresh dill. Eat.

Thoughts: This was a pretty straight-up recipe and it was also pretty easy. Also good for you; it didn't require any cream or anything. Plus ham is actually surprisingly lean. So all in all, pretty healthy. The original recipe didn't actually call for ham, but we figured you can't REALLY have split pea soup without ham. Unless you're like, a vegetarian, or trying to keep kosher or something. But the ham really added an extra flavor and texture dimension to the soup that I think the soup definitely benefited from. I would definitely make it again. The dill was also a good touch. Dan thought there was a little too much salt, probably because of the chicken stock.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Chicken Stir-fry with Yams and Red Cabbage

Yes, this dish was just about as weird as it sounds.

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp sesame oil
• 2 yams, peeled, cut into 1/3 " rounds, and cut into sticks.
• 1 medium red onion, sliced
• 8 ounces boneless skinless chicken thighs, cut into chunks
• 1 tbsp minced ginger
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
  
• 1 cups red cabbage, sliced into 1/4 " strips
• 3 tbsp hoisin sauce
• fresh or dried cilantro

Heat sesame oil over medium high heat. Add yams and onion and cook until yams are tender. Add water by the tablespoon-full if it starts to dry out. This should take about 12 minutes.
Sprinkle chopped chicken with plenty of salt and pepper and stir to coat. Add chicken to yams and onions. Add ginger and garlic and more sesame oil, if needed. Stir fry for one minute.
Add the cabbage and stir-fry until chicken is cooked through and cabbage is wilted but still a little crunchy. Stir in hoisin sauce. Add cilantro.

Thoughts: This was totally weird. I don't know. I would not make it again. I originally found the recipe because we were trying to find a way to use up the 2-pound head of cabbage in our fridge. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But if I had thought about it for even a second, I probably would have thought better of it. I mean, red onions and sweet potatoes and chicken? What the hell? Not great. IF we were to try to fix this recipe enough to make it again, I would take out the red onions. I would also add a WHOLE MESS of soy sauce. This dish lacked flavor in general. This was one of the worst things we've made in a while, I think.

Dan: I think the sweet potatoes were weird. That didn't fit in at all. I agree that it lacked flavor. Adding some soy sauce helped. It didn't taste BAD, it just didn't taste good. It was really really bland.

Disaster Index: 6/10