Horchata de Arroz

Despite being white and murky, horchata has no milk. It is pronounced as "or-chat-ta" or "hor-cha-ta" if you want this marriage to work.

Ingredients

• 1c white rice
  
• 1.5c water
  
• yet another 1.5c water
  
• 1/4tsp cinnamon
  
• like, 3tbsp sugar
  
• a little bit of vanilla
  

Put the rice and 1.5c water in a blender with the cinnamon. Put the blender in the refrigerator. For maybe 12 hours. Nobody said this would a quick recipe.

Th next morning, blend the liquid until smooth, 2-3 minutes. Strain it through a cheesecloth. Add the sugar and vanilla and the remaining water. Enjoy.

Thoughts: This nigh impossible to strain at the end. I don't know how best to deal with that. I recommend decanting it a couple times and THEN straining it. It was a mess. Anyway, it was a LITTLE watery for me - I assume it's not traditional, but I wonder if it would be good with milk instead of water, at least at the end. The flavor was pretty good, though, aside from the wateriness. If I made it again, I would blend it for longer, probably before I even chill it. I might use milk, too. And more cinnamon. Some recipes use almonds, too, which might be good (even better: use almond milk?). Anyway, if you don't like it you can just use it to make oatmeal, and it works pretty well.

Disaster Index: 3/10

Blondies

Ingredients

• 2 sticks of butter
• 2c flour
• 2tsp baking powder
• .75tsp salt
• 2c dark brown sugar
• 2 eggs, lightly beaten with
• 2tsp vanilla extract
• ~1c dark chocolate chips

In a bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, salt, and chocolate chips. In a separate bowl, combine the eggs and vanilla. In a sauce pan over medium heat, melt the butter. After it melts, keep it on the heat. It will froth up a lot, then the froth will subside and it will start to darken. As soon as it starts to darken, take the butter off the heat and add the brown sugar. Stir vigorously. Add about a tablespoon of water and stir well. Let the mixture sit a little bit to cool (or stir it to cool it faster). Then temper the eggs and stir them in. Whisk together until pretty smooth. Then pour in the dry ingredients and fold together. It will form a very sticky batter. Pour into a 9x13 baking pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes at 350 degrees, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Thoughts: 2c is WAY more sugar than it needed, I believe. The batter was REALLY overpowering. But when they baked, the sweetness was quite diminished to tolerable levels. Don't get me wrong - they taste GREAT - but I still think I would use about 1/2 as much sugar next time. Otherwise, the flavor is fantastic, and the texture is great.

Update: I made this with 1.25 sticks of butter, 1c sugar, and 1tsp salt. The flavor is phenomenal, but the texture is a little more cake-y? Maybe this is what the butter was for? Unclear. Hm.

Disaster Index: 1/10

The Fat Elvis Sandwich

Okay, so we changed one ingredient.

Ingredients

• 2 slices of bread (we used whole grain, you're supposed to use Hawaiian.)
  
• 3 slices thick cut bacon, cooked and patted dry
  
• peanut butter
  
• 1 banana, sliced and grilled (possibly in bacon fat) until caramelized on both sides.
  

Cook bacon and banana as instructed above. Put peanut butter on the sandwich, followed by bacon and then bananas. Put the sandwich back on the griddle and toast lightly. Serve.

Thoughts: Not much needs to be said about this. Claire put a lot of peanut butter on, which, she evinced, drowned out the bacon flavor too much. In the future, she would use more bacon (or less peanut butter). I thought it could use a spot of jelly or possibly honey, though that might be fixed by using hawaiian bread.

Also this was FANTASTIC. Although I would say it has an artery disaster index of more like 3-7/10, depending on how you make it / whether you fry EVERYTHING in bacon fat (including the sandwich) or nothing.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Waffles

This is my late grandmother's recipe -- she's labeled it as "low-carb, high-protein," which it certainly is. Don't be put off by the cottage cheese and wheat germ; these are delicious.

Ingredients

• 4 eggs
• 1/2 cup flour (white or whole wheat)
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1 cup cottage cheese
  
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 cup oil
• 1/2 cup milk (NOTE: DO NOT SUBSTITUTE ALMOND MILK. IT IS NOT REAL MILK. IT WILL MESS UP YOUR WAFFLES)
  
• wheat germ (optional, and as much as you want)
  

Combine these all in a blender or kitchen aid or whatever you use to blend things quickly. You probably could use just a spoon, but I make no promises about consistency.
Ladle the batter into a waffle iron. Eat them once they're done.

Thoughts: Awesome. The flavor of these is hard to describe but totally delicious. We messed up a bunch of these the first time we made them, but only because I have no idea how to work a waffle iron. SO. But they're flawless once you know what you're doing. Also they're pretty healthy. My mother says they're a lot like the original, so that's good.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Apples Foster

I was watching Unwrapped on Food Network because Claire isn't here to entertain/stop me. They spoke to the guy whose father invented/caused the invention of Bananas Foster (the guy inherited the restaurant from his father). Anyway, that's what kind of inspired this.

Ingredients

• 1 smallish apple, cubed (or something like that - I think I did something somewhere between cubes and wedges)
  
• 1tbsp brown sugar
  
• 1/2tbsp butter
  
• 1tbsp (good) dark rum (I used Meyers)
  
• vanilla ice cream
  

In a sauce pan, melt the butter with the brown sugar. Add the apples, and stir around, continuing to cook at medium high heat. If it starts to get a little dry, add a few tbsp of water. Cook until the apples are a little soft but not mushy. Take the pot off the heat and pour in the tbsp of rum. Put it back on the heat and shuffle the pan around a little so the alcohol starts to vaporize. Now ignite a lighter over the pot. Lean away from the pot a little while you do this (although alcohol doesn't burn terribly hot, and it's only for a second, so you'll probably be fine - but better safe than sorry). Pour the apples and syrup over some vanilla ice cream. Enjoy.

Thoughts: The flambe part was pretty darn cool. I think that's the second time I've ever attempted a flambe. But now it will happen like every weekend. This recipe was so good, it would be difficult to improve upon it. If I HAD to pick things to do differently next time, they would be these: 1) add a pinch of salt, 2) think about adding some spices - cinnamon, allspice, clove, that kind of thing, 3) add other fruit in addition to apple, 4) maybe some nuts for a little added texture? 5) make more. BUT the recipe doesn't suffer without these modifications - they're more suggestions of ways to potentially spice it up some time in the future. As a note: this recipe makes enough for ONE person. Multiply as needed.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Pasta with Artichokes and Zucchini

CLAIRE IS IN MINNESOTA. COOK NEW RECIPES.

Ingredients

• 1/2 lb farfalle
  
• 1 zucchini
  
• 1/2 a jar's worth of artichoke hearts (I hear that jars of artichokes are of higher quality than cans. Confirm/deny?)
  
• 1/2 tsp lemon juice
  
• generous pinch of salt
  
• 2tsp garlic
  
• olive oil
  
• a few tbsp pesto
  

Set the pasta to cook. Meanwhile, prep the vegetables. Cut the zucchini as you see fit (I cut it into 1.5" wedges - each about 1/8 of a cylinder, if you can imagine what I'm failing to describe). Saute over medium high heat with some olive oil. Add the garlic and toss around until the garlic is fragrant - 30 seconds? Then add the artichoke hearts. Mine were jarred with some vegetable oil, vinegar, and various spices. I pulled the artichokes out individually with a fork, leaving whatever juice was on them. Anyway, toss those in and continue to saute for another 2-3 minutes. Add lemon juice and pesto and turn the heat off. When the pasta is done, toss it in with the vegetables and toss them around.

Thoughts: This was pretty delicious. The serving is really designed for two people, but I ate most of it. In the future, I would consider adding sliced olives to this. Otherwise, pretty fantastic.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Wookie Cookies

Here they finally are, by popular request:

Ingredients

• 2 and 1/4 cup white flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1.5 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 cup milk chocolate chips
• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375.
Put flour, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon in a medium-sized bowl and whisk together until fully incorporated. Set aside.
In a large mixing bowl, cream together the soft butter, brown, and white sugars together until completely blended. I used to do this in the blender, but the mixture gets too runny and the cookies come out flat if you do this. If you use a fork or whisk, the batter stays stiffer, which makes for better cookies. Make sure your butter is soft. If it isn't, you'll be really frustrated.
Beat in the eggs and vanilla extract.
Add the flour mixture and mix completely. Add the 2 cups of chocolate chips and stir in.
If it looks like the batter is too runny (it shouldn't be, but if it is), you can go ahead and refrigerate it for an hour or two.
Drop the dough onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper (or a greased cookie sheet).
Bake for about 10 minutes, or until golden brown.
Eat them. Makes about 3 dozen.

Thoughts: These are awesome. There's nothing else to say about them. Try them. You'll like them.

Disaster Index: 1/10