Cola

Or, "Dan gets bored of studying insurance accounting."

Ingredients

• 2c water
• 1 tbsp dried lemon zest
• 2 tbsp dried clementine zest
• 1 fairly dry vanilla bean pod, snapped into five pieces
• 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp grated nutmeg
• 1 star anise pod thing
• 1/2 tsp lavender flowers
• 2 tsp minced ginger
• 1 cardamom pod
• 1/4 tsp fenugreek
• 1/4 tsp citric acid
• 1tsp instant coffee
• about 1/2c sugar

Add all the aromatics to the water. Bring to a boil, then simmer for about 20 minutes. Strain through a cheesecloth, then a coffee filter. Then add the citric acid, coffee, and sugar. Stir until the sugar is dissolved, then refrigerate. Mix in a ratio of 1:4 with soda water. Drink while watching Portlandia. Cry about what a hipster you've become. Cry your ironic hipster tears.

Thoughts: This is VERY CLOSE. We're not quite there yet - in the future, we may switch to dark brown sugar instead of granulated. Maybe a splash of dark rum would do the trick? Another idea I had was to throw a half teaspoon of Russian Caravan or Lapsang Souchong tea in with the water. This reminds me very much of "china cola" that we used to get at woodman's. Do they still sell that stuff? Apparently.

Disaster Index: 1/10