Chicken and Tomatillo Chimichangas

Ingredients

• 8 small skinless chicken thighs
• 1 tbsp vegetable oil
• 2 onions, finely chopped
• 4 garlic cloves, crushed
• 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp ground coriander
• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp ground cloves
• scant 2 cups drained canned tomatillos (12 oz can works fine)
• 14 oz cooked pinto beans (also from can is fine)
• several large tortillas
• several ounces of grated pepper jack cheese
  
• oil, for frying
• salt and pepper

Thaw chicken. Put in a large pan, and add water to cover. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer for 10 minutes or until the chicken is cooked. You can go ahead and skim the schmaltz off the top if you want.
Remove the chicken, transfer to a plate, let cool, then shred. We usually use two large forks for this business.
Heat the oil in a frying pan. Fry onions until translucent, then add the garlic and spices and cook for 3 more minutes. Add the tomatillos and beans. Cook over moderate heat for another 5 minutes. Make sure to be stirring constantly throughout this whole process. It gets pretty sticky.
Add the chicken and the seasoning (salt and pepper, in this case).
Heat the tortillas in a microwave until they're very pliable. This is important. They cannot be chilly or room temperature. They must be either warm or hot.
Spoon a smallish amount of the filling into the center of the tortilla and sprinkle the grated cheese on top. It should take up about 1/4-1/5 of the tortilla.
Fold in the sides, followed by the top and the bottom. Secure with a cocktail stick or a skewer or something. This is actually sort of tricky. Just improvise.
Heat the oil in a frying pan and fry the chimichangas in batches until they're crisp. They should get a nice golden color. If the cooked part is pretty dark and the rest of the tortilla is still white, the heat is too high. Turn it down.
Remove them from oil, drain on paper towel, and eat.

Thoughts: Absolutely delicious. I think they could have used a little more salt (possibly in the form of chicken stock). They were pretty easy to make though. I think we should have gotten bigger tortillas. We got small ones, but like, fajita or burrito-sized tortillas would have been better. It was pretty difficult to get them to fold up completely, and even more difficult securing them with a skewer or cocktail stick. Just be prepared for this. They are delicious for breakfast also. Also, we had WAY more filling than we knew what to do with. We only had enough tortillas for half the filling. I would go ahead and use fewer chicken thighs. You could probably go ahead and cut that number in half and you would be fine. Also Dan thought it could probably use some more cheese. He also thinks a mole sauce would work well with it. We actually have some mole sauce in the back of our fridge, but at this point, I wouldn't go near it. Cilantro would also be a good addition. Dan also says maybe we could put zucchini in it, but I'm not convinced.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Fruit Cobbler

An interesting, lazy, twist on classic cobbler.

Ingredients

• 16 ounces of frozen berries, thawed (NOTE: WE DID NOT THAW FIRST)
• 2 tbsp powdered sugar (NOTE: WE USED GRANULATED)
• 2 cups pancake mix
• 1 cup whole milk
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 tbsp powdered sugar
  
• Butter for baking dish.
  

Preheat oven to 375.
Butter an 8 or 10 inch baking dish - either is fine.
Add the berries and 1.5 tbsp of the sugar to the dish and toss.
In a large bowl, combine the pancake mix, milk, and eggs until no lumps remain.
Pour the batter over the berries.
Bake until the crust is golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 30 minutes (NOTE: WE BAKED IT FOR MUCH LONGER).
Remove from oven.
Let cool for 5 minutes.
Sprinkle with the remaining 1/2 tbsp powdered sugar. Eat.

Thoughts: This was pretty easy to make, and it would have been easier if we had actually thawed the berries like they asked. But I was like "oh whatever, they'll melt in the oven." Yes. They certainly did. And they made the inside all soggy so we had to bake and rebake the thing like, 3 times. So we ended up cooking it for like, an hour total. It was ridiculous. But that was our own fault. As a consequence, the texture was probably not what it should have been. It looked like white cake with berries underneath. I don't know. I didn't really like it, but both Dan and Erin thought it was good. Once you get yourself a piece and sort of mix everything around, it's good I guess. Dan thought it was too acidic. But he doens't like things like raspberries and strawberries and blackberries for just that reason. So I don't know. You can substitute any sort of fruit filling in this cobbler.

Disaster Index:4.5/10 tolerable.

Hot Cross Buns with Dried Cherries and Golden Raisins

Ingredients
This recipe was again taken from Martha Stewart. Its subsequent complexity should therefore surprise no one.

• 1 cup plus 3 tbsp plus 2 tsp whole milk
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 4.5 tsp active dry yeast
• 1/5 sticks unsalted butter, melted and cooled, plus more for bowl and baking sheet
• salt
• 1/2 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
• 4 large eggs, lightly beaten
• 5.5 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for surface
• 3/4 cup chopped dried cherries
• 3/4 cup chopped dried golden raisins
• 1 large egg white
• 1 tbsp water
• 2 cups confectioner's sugar
• 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

Heat 1 cup milk in a small saucepan over medium heat until it registers 110 on a candy thermometer.
Pour milk into a mixer bowl, and fit mixer with a dough hook.
With mixer on slow speed, add the granulated sugar, the yeast, the butter, 1.5 tsp of the salt, the nutmeg, the cinnamon, and the eggs.
Add flour, 1 cup at a time, and knead until mixture comes together in a soft, sticky dough.
Continue kneading until dough is smooth, about 4 minutes.
Add cherries and raisins, and knead to incorporate.
Remove dough from mixer and turn out onto a floured surface. Knead to further distribute dried fruit.
Coat a large bowl with PAM. Shape dough into ball and place in prepared bowl. Cover with saran wrap.
Do the microwave trick, and then put the bowl in the microwave and let rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour.
PAM a rimmed baking sheet. Turn dough onto a floured surface, knead briefly, then divide the dough into three equal pieces. You'll be working with one piece at a time, so just keep the other two under the plastic wrap.
Divide each of the three pieces into 10 pieces, and shape each into a tight ball.
Place on prepared baking sheet, spacing them 1/2 inch apart.
Repeat with all the remaining dough. If you don't have 3 baking sheets than I guess you're screwed. Just be creative.
Cover the sheets with plastic wrap and put them somewhere warm and let them rise for another 1. You could put one sheet in the microwave, and the other two in a warm oven. That's what we did. Just make sure the oven isn't TOO warm.
After an hour has elapsed, remove the sheets from their respective warm places.
Preheat the oven to 375. Whisk together the egg white and water in a small bowl. Brush tops of buns with egg-white wash. This will cause them to deflate a little. It's ok.
Bake, rotating sheet halfway through, until golden brown, 20-22 minutes.
Let cool on sheet for 30 minutes.

For the frosting:
Whisk together the remaining 3 tbsp plus 2 tsp whole milk, confectioners sugar, vanilla, and a pinch of salt. Spoon the icing into a pastry bag (if you're FANCY) or just a normal ziploc bag with a small corner cut off. Pipe icing in whatever pattern you want across the top of the buns.
Eat.

Thoughts: This recipe was way too complicated to make. I probably wouldn't make it again. Also, Martha says that the buns are best eaten the same day, and boy howdy, she's right. They get hella dry. And we obviously couldn't eat them all in the same day, because there were 30 fucking buns and there are only 2 of us. Why didn't I halve the recipe? Or even quarter it? I don't know. Just keep that in mind. ON THE OTHER HAND, if you can't use them all in one day and they get dry and stale, just make them into French toast. Cut the buns in half and then soak them in the custard. Sweet Jesus, it's delicious. So at least they won't go to waste.
Otherwise they were pretty good. I guess you're supposed to make them for Easter? I did not know this. I suppose you could pipe crosses on the buns or something (probably why they're called hot CROSS buns). Or you could pipe rude and obnoxious messages to your friends on them. Or lewd images. You get to decide how much you want to offend God.

Disaster Index: 3/10

Pasta with Broccoli-Herb cream sauce

Ingredients

• 1/2 pound pasta (we used radiatore)
• 1 cup cherry tomatoes, sliced in half (or quarters, if you want to be fancy)
  
• 1 cup chopped broccoli, steamed
  
• 1 oz chevre
• 3 tbsp chopped chives
• 1/2 cup skim milk
• 3 tbsp dried parsley
• 1/4-1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
  
• salt and pepper, to taste

Boil water and cook the pasta. Set aside.
Steam the broccoli in a pot until it is tender. Add the chevre and the milk, and cook on low-ish heat until the chevre has melted.
Add the chives, parsley, and fresh basil. Stir until well-incorporated.
Simmer. When the milk has thickened a little, remove the sauce from heat and transfer it to a blender. Blend until smooth.
Add salt and pepper to taste. Mix with pasta and top with cherry tomatoes. Eat.

Thoughts: You'll probably need to add a reasonable amount of salt to the sauce, but other than that, delicious. Just fantastic. And you get your vegetables too. I hate eating whole vegetables with my pasta because it ruins the pasta. But if you chop everything up and put it in a sauce, it's like you aren't eating vegetables at all, and that's something we can all get behind.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Quesadillas with prosciutto, smoked Gouda, and caramelized onions.

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp butter
• 1/2 small white onion, finely sliced
• 1/2 small red onion, finely sliced
• splash of balsamic vinegar
• 1.5-2 cups grated smoked Gouda
  
• however many tortillas you want to use; 2 tortillas makes 1 quesadilla, and so forth. We used 3, and made 1.5 quesadillas. Mostly because we just used what we had in the fridge. Whatever.
• 2 ounces sliced prosciutto, chopped
• 1 cup cilantro, chopped
  

Melt the 2 tbsp butter in a pan over medium high or high heat. Add the onions and balsamic vinegar and cook until they're brown and caramelized, about 10-15 minutes. Remove from heat.
We used a non-stick griddle for making the quesadillas, but you could also use a flat-bottomed pan as well, if you don't have a griddle.
Heat the griddle to about 300 degrees.
Begin assembling the quesadillas: place half the tortillas on the griddle. Add the cheese, prosciutto, and onions. Squish everything down a little so that nothing falls off. Put another tortilla on top and let the bottom tortilla cook and let the cheese melt a little. Flip it over after about 2 minutes. The underside should have brown spots on it. Cook on the other side until the quesadilla is crispy.
Garnish with cilantro.
Suggestion: put apple-cranberry chutney on top. Delicious.

Thoughts: Fantastic. Dan thought it could use more prosciutto next time. I thought it could use less onion - the quesadillas were overflowing with caramelized onion. I highly recommend putting some sort of apple chutney on top - it really pairs well with the smoked Gouda. I don't have much to say about this. It was just a wonderful taste experience. Taste-tastic. If you will.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Irish Beef Stew

This was a bit of a process.
Ingredients

• ~3.5 to 4 lbs of beef. We used rump roast I think? I don't know. There was NOT much fat on it, but the soup was still quite delicious. So I guess I recommend a leaner cut because the soup is healthier? I don't know. Anyway, trim excess fat and cut into rough 1" cubes.
  
• ~6 cloves garlic
  
• 8c beef stock
  
• 1-2tbsp tomato paste
  
• 1tbsp sugar
  
• 3tbsp fresh thyme
  
• 1tbsp Worcestershire sauce
  
• 2 bay leaves
  
  
  
• 2tbsp butter
  
• 5-6 yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cubed (1/2")
  
• 1 large onion, chopped
  
• 3 carrots, peeled and chopped
  
• 2tbsp dried parsley
  
• a little cooking wine
  

Heat a skillet with some high smoke-point oil. Add all the beef and saute until more or less brown on all sides. This could take a while, since there's SO MUCH BEEF. Add the garlic, beef stock, tomato paste, sugar, thyme, Worcestershire sauce, and bay leaves. Bring to a boil, then cover and reduce to a simmer.

Meanwhile, throw all the rest of the ingredients (butter, potatoes, onion, carrot, parsley) into a pot. Saute until the potatoes are just starting to get tender.

Here's the fun part. Combine everything. Done that? Now just let it simmer for about an hour. If you can go for 1.5 or 2 hours, that's probably better. After that time, taste the beef. Is it tender enough for you? Maybe let it go even longer. We went about 1 hour until we got sick of waiting, but the beef was just the right texture. We let it cook a little longer after we ate, and I think the flavors DID get a little better. The leftovers are really great.

Thoughts: NEVER MAKE THIS MUCH SOUP. Half the recipe and you'll be eating soup for a week. I swear. Four pounds of beef and 5 potatoes? What the heck? Anyway, I thought the flavors were really pretty good. In the future, I would try to caramelize the beef AND the vegetables a bit more before combining them. Next time we should make it with some bread, too.

Disaster Index: 1/10 - improves with leftovers

Kosher for Pesach Matzo Balls

As the title suggests, we couldn't do our usual matzo ball soup because we use baking powder to give the matzo balls a little lighter texture. As it would turn out, I liked these more.

Ingredients

• 6 large eggs
  
• 1 stick butter, melted (could probably cut this down / use margarine)
  
• 1.5tsp salt
  
• 1 7/8c matzo meal
  
• a lot of parsley, ground black pepper, and sage
  
• water until it forms a fairly thick dough that can be shaped with the hands
  

Basically, stir everything together in a bowl. Refrigerate about 2 hours or (better) overnight. When the dough comes out of the fridge, it should be at a consistency where you can shape it with your hands into matzo balls. It'll be sticky, though. Fair warning.

Set a big pot of salted water to boil. Or better yet, use some chicken stock (we just used salted water since we had vegetarians.) Form the matzo balls (I used an ice-cream scoop to portion them out and my hands to smooth them), and as you do, drop them into the simmering water. Once you've got them all into the pot, set the water to simmer. Cover and let them cook for about 20 minutes. We may have cooked them longer - after 20 minutes, take one out and cut it in half to see if it's done through all the way.

Later, drop them into some stock with vegetables and serve.

Thoughts: Claire likes the other recipe better. I guess I just grew up eating matzo balls primarily on Passover, so I prefer a denser texture. What I did learn, however, is that the matzo balls work a LOT better generally if you shape them with your hands rather than an ice cream scoop. However good the scoop is, it will leave a few jagged edges and give you more like matzo spaetzle, which NOBODY wants.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Kidneys au Vin Blanc

Ingredients

• 3 tbsp butter
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1 garlic clove, chopped
• 5 lamb's kidneys, sliced, with the middle parts removed
• 3 tbsp flour
• salt and pepper
• 2 oz. mushrooms, sliced
• 1 tsp fresh chopped herbs (we used parsley and Italian seasoning)
• 2/3 cup white wine
• 2/3 cup chicken stock
• 3 large tomatoes, skinned, quartered, and seeded
• croutons to garnish

To skin the tomatoes, we blanched them in boiling water for about 30 seconds and then dumped them in an ice bath. The skin came off very easily.
I can't really tell you the best way to prepare kidneys. I didn't know there would be weird tubes and shit on the inside, but there were, and there seemed to be no good way to extricate them. I ended up butchering them pretty bad, as it were. But the preparation doesn't really matter, I don't think. As long as you can remove the middle part, you're good to go.
Melt the butter in a saucepan and add the onion and garlic. Cook until the onion is translucent. Add the mangled kidneys and fry until lightly browned. Don't overcook them! They will get rubbery.
Remove the pan from heat and stir in the flour, herbs, stock, wine, mushrooms, salt, and pepper.
Bring to a boil and simmer for 8-10 minutes.
Add the quartered tomatoes and cook for another 2-3 minutes.
Serve garnished with croutons.

Thoughts: Weird. I feel pretty ambivalent about this recipe. I mean, if you like kidneys, this is a great recipe. The flavor was great and the preparation was super easy. If, however, you've never had kidneys before (like me), I don't know if I can recommend this recipe. Kidneys have a very strong flavor and a texture that's sort of similar to mushrooms. The rest of the recipe was really good, but I'll admit that the kidneys squicked me out. If we were to make this recipe again, I think we would lose the tomatoes. They didn't add much. Dan says the recipe was really weird and that he probably wouldn't make it again. He objected to the scent of uric acid that emanated from the kidneys. But, on the other hand, they were very tender. Maybe because they came from lambs and not sheep.

Disaster Index: This is difficult. I would give it a 1-2/10, but we would never make it again. If you like kidneys, I highly recommend this recipe. Otherwise, don't worry about it.

Edit: Three weeks out and I can still remember exactly what these kidneys tasted like. Very MEMORABLE.

Apple Carrot Cake with Molasses Cream Cheese Icing

Ingredients

Cake

• 1 and 3/4 cup old-fashioned oats
• 2 cups boiling water
• 1 cup unsalted butter, slightly softened
• 2 cups dark brown sugar
• 1.5 cups white sugar
• 4 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 1 tbsp rum
• 3 cups flour
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp grated or ground nutmeg
• 2 apples, peeled, cored, and grated
• 4 medium carrots, peeled and grated

Heat the oven to 350.
Combine the oats with the boiling water and set aside until the oats have absorbed the majority of the water.
Beat the butter and sugar together. It will be easiest if you use a kitchenaid for this or something. We did. Cream the butter and sugar together until creamy and smooth. Add the eggs one at a time. Beat until smooth and whipped. Add the vanilla and rum and mix to incorporate. Add in the oatmeal.
Combine all the dry ingredients together and whisk well. Slowly add the dry ingredients into the wet and mix until fully incorporated. Add the grated apple and carrot. Mix well.
Line a smallish spring-form pan with parchment paper (or grease it really well). Put about 1/3 of the mixture in the pan (this batter will make 3 tiers, so you'll have to do this 3 times. Just be prepared). Put in the oven for at least 40 minutes (we had to cook each tier for like, an hour), or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Cool each layer completely before adding the icing in between each layers.

Icing

• 1 cup whole milk
• 2 8-oz packages of cream cheese, very soft
• 1/3 cup molasses
• 1 tsp vanilla
• pinch salt
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg
• at least 2 cups powdered sugar - more if you want the icing to be stiffer.
  

Beat the whole milk for a while, then add the cream cheese bit by bit. This will help it incorporate better into the milk. Don't just dump the whole thing in there. Add the molasses, vanilla, salt, and nutmeg. Beat in the powdered sugar one cup at a time. Set aside and refrigerate for an hour while the cake bakes and cools.

Thoughts: This was hella good. There's just no way around it. The original recipe also called for like, a cup of coconut in the cake, but I suspect that would have made the cake way too sweet. It was pretty damn sweet as it is. It was also VERY moist, which was fantastic. I think next time we would put raisins in the cake as well, just for a little added texture. The carrot and apple was grated pretty finely, so they didn't really add much of a textural element at all. I felt more ambivalent about the frosting because it just tasted SO much like molasses. In the future I think we would either cut WAY back on the molasses or just not put it in at all and make a normal cream cheese frosting. Also we used whole milk instead of whipping cream for the frosting, which probably contributed to its texture (more like a loose icing than a frosting). Next time we would go ahead and use the whipping cream.

Disaster Index: 1-2/10