Not Quite Pasta Carbonara

Perhaps more accurately called "Pasta Not Quite Carbonara." This was actually an attempt to use up stuff in the fridge / pantry before we go out of town (and eventually move), but it was the perfect thing after a hard day of painting. OH GOD THE PAINT FUMES.

Ingredients

• 4oz bacon, cubed
• garlic. Like, a lot. Maybe 2tbsp.
• Olive oil
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2c of that sandy parmesan stuff
• black pepper
• 14oz canned diced tomatoes
• 1lb pasta

Make the pasta. While that's cooking, cook the bacon and garlic in a pan of olive oil. When the bacon is cooked, add the tomatoes and simmer for a while until it thickens a bit. Meanwhile, in a separate bowl, mix the egg, parmesan, and pepper and whisk thoroughly.

When the pasta is done, mix it with the tomato / bacon mixture until thoroughly coated. Do this over a low flame so that it's REALLY hot. Take the pasta off the heat completely, stir a couple more times, then pour in the egg and cheese mixture and stir constantly. The heat from the pasta cooks the eggs without curdling them (ideally - worked for us, but we've curdled them in the past). Then serve.

Thoughts: This was really good. The tomato really added, actually, although I know we're heathens for doing it this way. It could be the paint fumes talking, but I would definitely do it this way in the future.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Caesar Salad Dressing

Ingredients

• 3/4 tsp jarred garlic (or garlic paste, if you want to be fancy)
• 2-3 tbsp lemon juice
• 1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tbsp anchovy paste (or 6 anchovy fillets, minced finely and mashed with a fork)
• 2 large egg yolks
• 5 tbsp canola oil
• 5 tsp olive oil
• 1/2 cup parmesan

In a large bowl, combine the garlic and lemon juice and let sit for 10 minutes (this takes some of the harshness out of the garlic).
Whisk together Worcestershire sauce, anchovies, and egg yolks into the garlic/lemon mixture.
While whisking constantly, drizzle the oils in. Whisk until fully emulsified.
Add the parmesan cheese. Add pepper to taste.

Thoughts: This was awesome. I wanted to make my own because I cannot get enough of anchovies and I'm tired to going out to restaurants and ordering caesar salad and then leaving. SO. That's about it. Enjoy.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Carrot Top Pesto

It turns out these things aren't toxic!

Ingredients

• 1 bunch carrot tops, chopped
  
• 1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped
  
• 1 tsp dried basil
• 1/3 cup olive oil (about; we just eye-balled it)
• 1 cup parsley, chopped
• 1/8 cup Parmesan cheese, shredded or powdered or what-have-you
  
• garlic powder, to taste
• salt and pepper, to taste (you'll need a lot of salt)
• water, if you need it
  

Put everything except the olive oil in a food processor. Slowly add the olive oil through the hole in the top. You may not need all 1/3 cup, or you may need more. Scrape down the sides of the food processor periodically. Add seasonings to taste.

Thoughts: Easy to do. Pretty tasty -- carrot tops taste a lot like parsley, as it turns out. I kept hearing they were bitter, but they aren't really. You could also try adding some toasted walnuts to this. I bet it would be good.

Disaster Index: 2/10 pretty good

Pasta with MGC pesto

What does MGC stand for? WAIT AND SEE.

Ingredients

• 1 lb pasta (we used ziti)
• 1/2 lb collards (the C), stems removed, leaves chiffonaded and then washed
• 1/2 lb mustard greens (the MG), stems removed, leaves torn and then washed
• the juice and zest of 1/2 of a small lemon
• 3 tbsp parmesan cheese
• 2 cloves garlic
  
• 1 tbsp dried basil flakes
  
• 2 Laughing Cow triangles (alternatively, 2 oz. of creamy cheese)
• salt
• pepper
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• water, until the texture is right
• 1 small tomato, chopped
  

In a large saucepan, add the collards and a few tablespoons of water. Cover the pot and put over medium/high heat. Cook until the collards have wilted, about 5 minutes.
Once the collards have wilted, add the mustard greens. Add more water, if necessary. Cover again and cook until the MG have cooked down. This shouldn't take long - keep an eye on it.
Once they've cooked down, add the garlic, salt, basil flakes, and pepper. Mix until incorporated.
Heat a pot of water for the pasta. When it's boiling, cook the pasta.
Remove the MG&C from the stove and put in a blender. To the blender, add olive oil and lemon juice/zest. Blend until thoroughly blended. Add more oil and/or water if the mixture gets too thick. Add the cheeses. Blend some more.
The pasta should be cooked by now. Drain it and return the pasta to the pot.
Add the MG&C pesto to the pasta. Stir until the pasta is thoroughly coated.
Add chopped tomatoes on top.
Devour.

Thoughts: OH MY GOD. SHUT UP. THIS IS AWESOME. But seriously, I was expecting the pesto to taste like any other pesto (we've made pesto with things like kale and swiss chard etc...), but it does not. It has this really interesting, savory flavor. We really lucked out. The greens paired really well with both the chopped tomato and the lemon. And this was hella easy. To be honest, I like this version of pesto better than traditional pesto. I would eat this all day. Sweet fancy Moses.

Disaster Index: Can I give a -1? 1/10 I guess

Tomato and Cannellini Panade

Based on a recipe from the kitchn blog. Very similar to ribollita.

Ingredients

• 1 onion, diced
  
• 2tbsp minced garlic
  
• 28oz can of diced tomatoes in juice
  
• 1c chicken broth (or vegetable)
  
• 1tbsp brown sugar
  
• 1 bay leaf
  
• pinch of anise
  
• 1tsp oregano
  
• 1tsp thyme
  
• 3-5 slices of good, crusty bread, cubed
  
• 16oz can cannellini beans, rinsed
  
• 1/2c parmesan
  
• salt and pepper to taste
  

Saute the onion in olive oil (with a pinch of salt) until translucent. Add the garlic and saute until fragrant - 30 seconds. Add the tomatoes & juices, and the broth along with the brown sugar, bay leaf, and anise. Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer for 10 minutes. Fish out the bay leaf and add the bread and beans. Stir for about 5 minutes, until the bread is mushy. Add a little more broth (1/4 to 1/2c) if needed, and stir some more. The goal is to get something only a LITTLE soupy - the bread soaks up most of the soup, so it's more of a stew. After you've adjusted this to taste, stir in the cheese and see if it doesn't need more salt or some pepper. Serve!

Thoughts: pretty great, but Claire and I agree that it could use some sort of greens. Maybe some frozen spinach? It would be a cinch to toss 5-10oz of frozen chopped spinach. On the plus side, it's a simple recipe and it's easy to adapt to be veg friendly. It's really quite good - I think I prefer it to ribollita texturally, even if they're pretty similar. It's kind of comfort-food. I would definitely make this again, just maybe with some modifications.

Disaster Index: 2/10 - with spinach I'd say a 1/10.

Creamed (?) patty pan squash

Ingredients

• 4 small/medium patty pan squashes
• 2 tbsp butter
• 3 tbsp water
• 2 cloves garlic
• lots of pepper
• lots of basil
• moderate amount of salt
• 1 tbsp flour
• 1/2 cup sour cream
  
• Parmesan cheese, to garnish

Scrub the squashes. Using a box grater (or cuisinart, if you prefer), grate the squashes (using the largest holes on the grater). Set aside.
In a large pan with a tight-fitting lid, heat the butter, water, garlic, basil, salt, and pepper. When the butter is melted and the seasonings are incorporated, add the squash. Cook on high heat, covered, until the squash is tender, around 5 minutes. You might want to drain off any excess liquid after this (squashes are generally quite watery).
Meanwhile, mix the sour cream and flour together until the flour is incorporated. Add into the squash and keep on heat until thoroughly incorporated.
Remove from heat. Sprinkle with Parmesan.
We recommend that you serve this atop some crostini brushed with olive oil. It is delicious.

Thoughts: This dish could definitely have used more seasoning, though I'm not sure what I would add. With the seasonings we used, it tasted pretty much like pasta. You could essentially pretend that you were eating pasta. Maybe it was the Parmesan cheese on top. Maybe substitute the water for dry white wine/vermouth? Maybe add mushrooms? Dan also thinks we could replace the sour cream with yogurt, which is probably true. We'll give it a shot. It's a work in progress.

Disaster Index: 2/10

Chicken & pasta with mango cream sauce

Ingredients

• 16 oz. pasta (rigatoni works well, but whatever)
• olive oil
• 2 skinless, boneless chicken thighs
• 1 onion, sliced and separated into rings
• 1 red bell pepper, julienned
• 3 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 tsp fresh ginger, minced
• 1 mango - peeled, seeded, and chopped
• 1 cup whole milk
• salt and pepper
• parmesan cheese, to top

Cook pasta until al dente. Set aside.
Cook chicken with olive oil in a pan over medium-high heat for 10 minutes, or until juices run clear. What the hell does this mean? Who knows?
Cook onion and pepper in olive oil until tender. Mix in garlic, ginger, and mango, and continue to cook for 5 minutes, or until mango is soft. Pour in milk and cook until thickened, about 5 minutes.
Add pasta and chicken, and cook everything for a little bit longer (2-4 minutes), until chicken is all the way done and pasta is not al dente anymore (unless you like that sort of thing).
Eat.

Thoughts: The taste on this dish was pretty fantastic, but we used WAY too much pasta in relation to everything else. I would halve the amount of pasta down to 8 oz next time. Also, it would have been much more awesome if we had blended the cooked onion, pepper, mango, garlic, ginger, and milk together to make a smooth cream sauce. This was just way too deconstructed and uneven, if you know what I mean. If it were a cohesive sauce, there would be some mango flavor on all the pasta. The way we did it, there were huge sections of plain white pasta and some clumps of vegetables and mango. Not great. Not great.

Disaster Index: 3/10. Taste was good, presentation = not so much.

Stuffed Pasta Shells

This is a slight variation on the shells my dad makes.

Ingredients

• 1 lb frozen spinach
• 1/2 lb mozzarella cheese, grated/shredded
• 1/2 lb ricotta cheese
• 3 cloves minced garlic
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
• 1 tsp dried basil
• salt and pepper
• one egg, lightly beaten
• 20 large pasta shells
• olive oil
• 3 cups of tomato sauce
  
• grated parmesan cheese, to sprinkle on top (about 1/2 cup?)

Preheat oven to 375 F. Set a pot of water to boil.
Place frozen spinach in a large sauté pan over high heat. Cover with lid and let steam until spinach is un-frozen. You may have to add olive oil if the spinach dries out too much.
When done, remove from heat and let cool.
In the meantime, combine the cheeses, garlic, salt, pepper, and basil. Mix well. Add the egg.
If the spinach is cool enough to not cook the egg, add it in. Mix well again. Set aside.
If the water is boiling by this time, add the shells. BE SURE TO STIR THEM CONSTANTLY. Otherwise they WILL stick to the bottom of the pan and you will have pieces of shells rather than whole shells. Trust me. It gets ugly. Just make sure to stir all the time.
When the shells are slightly underdone, remove them from the water and drain. Set aside.
Distribute 3 cups of the tomato sauce on the bottom of a baking pan (with steep sides, if you can manage). Stuff the shells with the spinach/cheese mixture and lay them in the pan (filled side up, obv.). Sprinkle with parmesan cheese and cover with aluminum foil. Bake for 45 minutes. Eat.

Thoughts: This was reasonably easy to make and very delicious. Dan recommends seasoning the filling a little more. More pepper, perhaps. He would also suggest using a smooth pasta sauce, whereas the one we used was rougher.

Disaster Index: 1/10

Spinach Feta Roulade

I totally made this recipe up on the spot. And it worked! How cool is that?

Ingredients

• One recipe pizza dough (especially with added herbs)
  
• 1/2 red onion, sauteed in olive oil
  
• 10oz chopped frozen spinach, thawed (or fresh if you've got it)
  
• 4oz feta cheese
  
• 1/2c grated parmesan
  
• 8 cloves garlic, roasted
  
• dill, salt, pepper to taste
  
• some olive oil
  

Prepare the pizza dough. Let it rise about an hour, until doubled. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Roll the pizza dough out on a well floured surface to about a 18" by 24" rectangle. Spread garlic evenly across dough, and then do the same for the spinach, onion, and cheese. Sprinkle with dill, salt, and pepper and a little bit of olive oil. Now, carefully roll the dough up into a log the long way - that is, so that the 18" sides will be at each end of the log. Using a serrated knife (or an electric knife!) start cutting the log into rounds, about 1" wide. Lay the rounds out on a greased baking sheet - this is kind of like making very thin, savory cinnamon rolls. The recipe will make about 24 rolls - you'll need two baking sheets in total. Going in two batches (don't try to bake them all simultaneously) bake the roulades until they're a little brown, about 20 minutes (though sometimes a little longer). Serve.

Thoughts: This recipe has enormous potential, and they were pretty successful this first time we tried to make them. Next time, we will use more feta (6-8oz) and more spinach (last time we used about 6-8oz, next time we'll use the full 10oz). Alternatively you could use arugula or mustard greens.

This recipe is very adaptable, too. I considered using a thin layer of tomato paste (so it'd be like pizza) or pesto. Strips of zucchini would be good, too, so long as they're thinly cut. We considered adding prosciutto, but we didn't have any. More red onion would have done well, too.

Disaster Index: 1/10 - more toppings next time, though.

Brussels Sprouts with Toasted Walnuts

Another Martha favorite


Ingredients

• several frozen brussels sprouts
• 1/4 cup walnuts, toasted and coarsely chopped
• 1 tbs lemon juice
• salt and pepper
• 1/4 cup parsley
• romano cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Place walnuts in single layer in a baking pan and toast for 5-10 minutes. Let cool. Chop coarsely.
Place frozen brussels sprouts in a pot of boiling water and simmer for 5 minutes, until almost tender.
Place brussels sprouts and walnuts in a small pan with some olive oil and heat on high. Add the parsley. Add the lemon juice. Add the salt and pepper. Cook until brussels sprouts are tender (stick a knife in them to check).
Remove from heat, add romano (as much as you want).

Thoughts: This was a little lemony for me. I would recommend just sprinkling a little bit of lemon juice over the sprouts. The romano wasn't in the original recipe, but it should have been. The parsley wasn't either, but I think they were helpful additions.
Be careful that you don't get too happy with these walnuts - they are 200 calories per fourth cup. Christ. So use them sparingly. Otherwise the brussels sprouts were cooked perfectly, so that was a plus. Maybe add garlic?

Disaster Index: 3/10

Ribollita

This recipe is a variation on a recipe by Giada De Laurentiis. It's pretty heavily modified, though.

Ingredients:

• olive oil
  
• 1 onion, chopped
  
• 1 carrot, chopped
  
• 2tbsp crushed garlic
  
• 1tbsp tomato paste
  
• 1 15oz can diced tomatoes
  
• 1 10oz package frozen spinach
  
• 1 15oz can cannellini beans or "great northern beans" (what's the diff?), drained
  
• 4c vegetable stock
  
• 1c water
  
• 1 piece Parmesan or Romano rind
  
• bay leaves (1-3), parsley, basil, maybe some thyme, salt, and pepper
  
• bread
  

Heat some oil in a large pan or soup pot. Throw in the onion, carrot, garlic, salt, and pepper. When the onion is translucent, add the tomato paste and stir. Then add tomatoes, spinach, beans, herbs, stock and water, and cheese rind. Simmer, stirring periodically, for about 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, toast some bread in the oven (with a little olive oil) at ~350. We use a Madison sour dough, though we've also used traditional Ciabatta. If it's slightly stale, all the better. When it's done toasting, put a piece of bread at the bottom of a bowl and ladle soup over it. Top with more grated cheese and enjoy.

Thoughts: Since we started making this a few months ago it's become a standard. Sometimes we double up on the onions. We've gone as high as 15oz on the frozen spinach, too. This soup is difficult to mess up since most of the main ingredients are just "one can" or "one package". Everyone who's tried this soup has liked it a lot. The original calls for pancetta, though we do it vegetarian style. Still, it might be worth trying some time.

Disaster Index: 1/10 - The only downside is that there are a lot of ingredients I don't usually have. Fortunately, they're mostly non-perishable, so I can stock up and use them bit by bit.